Blessings and Lessons....

Lately, I have had a very hard time focusing on any positive aspect of this battle. It is so easy to despair, to worry, to fret, to stress.... there are many things to worry and stress out about. There are many things to fear.

Today I want to focus on the good things. The blessings and lessons Ryan and I are receiving and learning from our fight. Sometimes, if you can just let go of the fear, the joy and light have room to seep in.

Everyday we go through our routines and our lives, almost in auto pilot. We do our chores, our jobs, our whatever it is we need to do in a day, and time slips by and moments pass us up with little or no notice. The first lesson I have learned is to appreciate the moment. You never know when an opportunity for a blessed memory will happen.

This morning, after a very bad night of throwing up and cleaning up, Ryan asked his Papa to come sit with him and snuggle. Such a small request, but oh so wonderful. This is a moment for Ry and Papa to share... just the two of them. It is an opportunity to love each other. It is a moment to cherish.

Every night at bedtime, Ry asks me to sing to him. I am one of the worlds WORST singers... yet this small child blesses me by wanting me to sing.  I tuck him into his blankets, sit on the end of his bed, hold his precious little hand and sing.  It is such a wonderful few minutes I get every night. This disease can never take these moments away from us. They are planted in our hearts and in our memories.

The next lesson/blessing we have is that there are many people out there that truly DO care. Our lives have been so touched by so many stranger/friends. People we will never have the privledge  of meeting face to face, but that we love, nonetheless. There is a little boy in Florida named Aiden that I had the chance to meet a couple of weeks ago.  Three years old, and he loves Ryan and prays for him everyday. He sent a little floppy stuffed dog to Ryan so he would not have to be in the hospital alone. This little toy has become Ryan's buddy. He does not go anywhere without his B Dog. He sleeps with him nightly and this toy brings him so much comfort. Aiden and Ryan have never and probably never will meet, yet I feel they will be life long friends.
Whenever things are hard or I am overwhelmed, I read Ryan's facebook page and see the many well wishes and the prayers being said daily for him.  Such comfort and peace these prayers give me. Ryan loves to sit with me and read the page with me, and he often asks how many people love him on facebook.

Another lesson/blessing is the generosity we have been shown. This is not an inexpensive fight we are waging. The costs of day to day care, the costs of transportation, meals at the hospital, etc. (I could go on and on) People have been very generous with fund raising and donating to Ryan's fund. Without the kindnesses of so many people, we would have the added burden of falling behind in our bills and not being able to afford to help Ryan.  I Thank God every day for all the fantastic, caring, sharing people that have helped us.

One last lesson I want to mention is being taught to  me every day. That is a lesson in being strong. The teacher is Ryan himself.  I watch the struggles this little boy goes through and how he overcomes each one with courage and strength. I have learned that if he can smile after throwing up, if he can laugh after crying so hard about having a shot, if he can keep on keeping on with the bravery he has... then who am I to complain or whine about helping him on this journey? I am amazed at how well he is handling the ups and downs, the trials he has to endure, the medicines, the lab draws, etc. He truly is a hero.

Please, if you get anything out of this blog today, just do not ever take for granted the every day, small things that are so easy to overlook. You never know when  those moments may never come again. May you all love a little more, show a little more kindness, and most of all, trust in God a little more today. He loves us and is in control.