Ugly side of cancer...

This post today will not be pretty. It will not be about cute bald heads and beautiful, brave smiles. It will be about the reality... the ugly and horrific side of childhood cancer.

Last night, I spent the night rubbing Ryan's legs and arm. He woke up out of a sound sleep, crying out in pain and begging me to take that pain away. He had agonizing pain in both legs and his left arm. I quickly called the nurse to get meds to combat the pain, put heating pads on his legs and sat on his bed rubbing where he hurt. Ryan thrashed around the bed, crying and begging me to help him.

The nurse came in with medicine, and I continued rubbing and singing to him to calm him down. While taking pain meds, Ryan started gagging and said his stomach hurt, so the nurse went for nausea meds, too. Soon the pain meds kicked in and Ryan settled a little, and when the nausea med took effect, he started having hallucinations. He was seeing "things" moving on the walls, coming close to his bed... he was seeing "force sheilds" surrounding me and he told me not to move, afraid that I would be hurt. Ryan was terrified.

This is just one night in this brutal fight. It is getting harder and harder to stay positive and upbeat.. although, I will do my best, with God's help, to stay strong.

Ryan is not alone in this fight for life. There are children everywhere that are suffering this same thing. Cancer knows no boundary... not economic, ethnic, or age. Children are dying every day from this beast called Cancer. Please take a few minutes and watch this video. See what cancer REALLY is. Please pray for all the children in this battle. Pray for the families that are doing everything they can to help their warriors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asKxvi-JbIE      

Thank you for being here for us all through this war. You do bring us strength and peace. Continue praying for us, and we will continue thanking God that you are with us and for us.

We do have something to celebrate this morning. As I was finishing this blog, the doctor came in with the scan results from yesterday. Ryan's tumor appears to be shrinking and the chemo is doing what it needs to do.  At least we know that progress is being made in the fight! May God stay with us and give us the strength and fortitude to keep on fighting!