November 6, 2012 began just like most other days, with a cup of hot coffee and catching up with emails. My grandson, Ryan, had a doctors appointment that morning, and I was anxious to hear what his pediatrician would say about the pain he had been having in his back off and on for a few months. Previous x-rays had shown no problem, and she was treating it as muscle strain. Ryan had been at our house for the weekend, and had been in a lot of pain and having trouble moving around much. His back was very sore and Ken (Papa) and I had spent a lot of hours rubbing it, and trying to give him some comfort. 

Crystal, Ryan's mom, called me from the doctors office in Layton, UT and said that the pediatrician still could not find the cause of the pain, and still thought it was muscle strain, but that she could take him to Primary Children's  Medical Center in Salt Lake City, UT to the emergency room and get further testing done. By the time they came by the house to pickup some things they needed for PCMC, Ryan could not walk without someone holding him up, and he was in extreme pain. 

After several hours of testing and scans, the doctor seeing Ryan at PCMC told us they had seen a "mass' on Ryan's spine, and they were going to schedule surgery to remove it. At that point we were told they thought Ryan may have neuroblastoma.. Just before time for his surgery, the doctors again came in to tell us that the decision to remove the tumor had been changed and they were just going in to extract a piece of the tumor for biopsy. 

By November 9, Ryan could not sit up on his own, let alone walk. His Aunt Nikki came to visit and Ryan wanted to go to the play area to get out of his room for a while, so Nikki and I loaded Ryan and his pillows into a wagon and took him, IV pole and tubes included, down to the play room. Abby, Ryan's little sister was visiting and she went down to play, too. Later that evening, once again the doctors came in to deliver the shattering news that Ryan has CANCER. The biopsy showed small blue cells that were consistent with several types of cancer and further testing would need to be done to pinpoint which cancer it was.

I do not think you can ever be prepared to hear the words.... YOUR CHILD HAS CANCER..... we knew there was a mass, we knew it was very serious... but somewhere in the back of our minds, I think we were hoping that this would just be all a big mistake and in a few days Ryan would be up and running and playing again. 

In the meantime, the neurologists had been monitoring Ryan and his motor skills, and trying to determine if surgery would be needed to relieve some of the pressure from his spine. They decided on a rigorous course of steroids to bring down the inflammation around the spine that was effecting Ryan's walking and standing. 

The next few days were nerve wracking and tense. Finally on November 12, the news came back that Ryan has Ewings Sarcoma. Ewings strikes around 250 children a year in the US. We had never heard of it before, but it did not take long for us to find out what a beast this was we now have to battle. But, battle it we will.... and we will WIN. 

 This blog will be about Ryan and his strength and courage as we go forward. It will be about the struggles, the triumphs, the tears, the joy over small achievements. It will be about my thoughts and observations and emotions as our family goes on this journey none of us wanted to take. 

Thank you for caring enough to take this journey with us. For praying for and loving us, and for standing by our sides. We know we are not alone, and for that, I give Thanks to God. It is through the prayers of many that we will get through this and how we will overcome. 

~ Jill ~