On December 12, 2012, while Ryan was taking a bath, we noticed big clumps of hair coming out in our hands. Ryan reached up to wash his head, and was startled when he pulled out a large clump in his fingers. With tears in his eyes, he asked Papa if his hair was all going to fall out  now. I had a talk with him a week earlier about one of the side effects of chemotherapy might be that he would lose his hair.

Papa told him, that, yes.... the medicines he was taking was making his hair come out. Ryan, the trooper that he is, asked " Will you shave my head, Papa? I want to cut off my hair instead of letting it all fall out."

Out came the clippers and off went the hair. Uncle Sam, Uncle Mike, Uncle Kevin and his cousin Dylan all shaved their heads, too... to show support for Ryan. He was such a brave boy.

I, on the other hand, took his hair loss quite hard. It made me cry to think this small boy would now look like a cancer victim. There was now a "mark" the world could see and know that our boy was suffering.Ryan no longer looked like our Ryan.

It took me a few days before I realized that losing his hair was not the stigma I had thought it was. Instead, it was a physical sign to the world that our Ryan is, indeed, a super hero. Now, everyone that sees him will know the battle he is fighting, and they will know that he is such a strong, brave little man. It is not a stigma to lose hair in this fight, it is a badge of honor.

Now, in the past few days, Ryan has started to lose his eyebrows and eye lashes. He is worried they will never come back, and he is taking the loss quite hard. He has cried and worried over this hair loss. I tell him that they will grow back, and that the loss is a sign to the world of what a brave boy he is. That there is no shame in the hair loss, that he can be proud of it, and know that he is strong enough to fight a fight that many adults would not be able to fight so bravely.

Each obstacle we meet in this journey is a battle to be won. Overcoming the feelings the loss of Ryan's hair, eyebrows and eyelashes has brought on is one small victory. I am proud to be seen with my little hero. I am proud of the way he has handled the loss.

 Last night we were at a little diner eating dinner, when a little boy in the booth behind us made a comment about "that boy has a bald head." Ryan looked at me and said, "That boy must not know about cancer." and went about eating a few bites of his dinner. I worried about how Ryan would react when he heard comments on his baldness.... now I know that worry was senseless. A battle won for Ryan!