I have been in a state of denial about this whole relapse with Ryan. I knew in my head that it is real, and that we are facing "hell on earth" again... but my heart just had not accepted the reality of it all.
Yesterday, as I was driving to Primary Children's Hospital, the song BLESSINGS came on K-Love radio (The only station Ryan will listen too!) When we finished our fight last time around, I made a slide show with some pictures of our fight and that was the music I chose to play in the show. It spoke to my heart that our blessings truly do come from heartache. When the song started playing, I felt as though my stomach had been punched and I started crying. My heart finally knew that this was all real again.
Ryan is such a little trooper. He was in great spirits all day... talking and laughing with the drs and nurses. We visited with his oncology doctors and found out the plan of action we will take.
He will begin chemo as an out-patient, meaning we will go to the Oncology clinic every day to receive his chemo and IV fluids, then we will go home. There will be five days chemo, and two week break, so every 21 days we will begin another round. We were told that his bone marrow is tired from so much chemo last time around, and that it never fully recovers.... so his "rebound" time will take longer and longer as we go on. The 21 day cycle is ideal, but if his blood counts drop, that 21 days will become longer and longer. We will be on this fight for nine months to a year.
Already, we are receiving Blessings in our renewed tears and pain. There are so many GOOD people in this world. We have an army of beautiful people that are showering us with love and prayers... and there are some really great things being planned to help Ryan and our family get through this. I will be posting more about those things as they happen... for now I can say... HOPE is such a powerful emotion. Anticipation and fun activities to look forward to bring us hope and strength. For a little while, we can focus on fun and family and not the BEAST. God is truly blessing us with many angels here on earth.
Count your blessings, friends. Find joy in the mundane, every day minutes that make up our lives. God blesses us with so many things, if we just take the time to see them... sunrises, sunsets, butterflies and blue jays, snowflakes and frost patterns, babies smiles and the stories that our elderly people want to share. Love someone, and help someone that needs what only you can do. And hug your kids. You never know when YOUR smile may be the blessing God has for another person today.
If you would like to view the slideshow of our first fight, go here..... http://www.smilebox.com/playBlog/4e4449774e7a45344d6a4d3d0d0a&blogview=true
Friday, January 30, 2015
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Second Verse.... Same as the First
SECOND VERSE.... SAME AS THE FIRST
There is an old children's song that goes like this....
This is the song that never ends... It goes on and on, my friends..... Someone started singing it not knowing what it was.... and they'll continue singing it forever, just because... (and repeat over and over)
As most of you know, Ryan has relapsed. A small tumor taken from his right lung is Ewings Sarcoma. We feel as though we have been thrown head first into that children's tune, and that this nightmare journey we started on Nov 6, 2012 will never end.
Ryan had the lung resection surgery on Wednesday, Jan 21, 2015 and came home the following night. We did not tell him of his cancer recurrence until we were at home with his family all together. I will never forget the look in his eyes the moment we told him that we are in the fight again. He had a flash of terror, and then despair. His eyes pooled with tears that were just to much to shed, and his lip started quivering. After a few deep breaths, he said with all the conviction his little body could muster... "WE WILL KICK CANCERS BUTT.... TO PLUTO!!!"
Our boy is AMAZING. and STRONG. The news of the relapse brought me to my knees, took the air from my lungs, and had me in a literal tail spin. All it took was those few words from our true warrior to bring the entire family into FIGHT mode. We are in the battle again... and ready to fight.
Thursday we will return to Primary Children's Hospital to have a port placed in Ryan's chest. And we will meet with his oncology team to discuss our plan of action. I know he can not have the same chemotherapy as he did before, and that is the only proven protocol that is known to kill Ewings. There are other chemos, and we will be trying them... but they do not have the track record of the protocol he was on before. On Monday, Feb 2, he will begin his new treatment.
Statistics show that recurring Ewings, especially in the lungs, is very hard to fight. But statistics are just numbers. Warriors do not give up... Ryan has not given up.... our family is not giving up. I hope Ewings Sarcoma wants to travel in space... because that is exactly where Ryan is sending it!
Thank you all for being with us through our first "verse', and thank you for joining us in this second verse. We are praying that it will be "same as the first" and that the outcome will be NED once again. We can not do this without the support of the thousands of you that love our boy, and pray for him. You will never know what you have done for us.
With God, and you all on our side, WE WILL KICK CANCERS BUTT TO PLUTO!!
There is an old children's song that goes like this....
This is the song that never ends... It goes on and on, my friends..... Someone started singing it not knowing what it was.... and they'll continue singing it forever, just because... (and repeat over and over)
As most of you know, Ryan has relapsed. A small tumor taken from his right lung is Ewings Sarcoma. We feel as though we have been thrown head first into that children's tune, and that this nightmare journey we started on Nov 6, 2012 will never end.
Ryan had the lung resection surgery on Wednesday, Jan 21, 2015 and came home the following night. We did not tell him of his cancer recurrence until we were at home with his family all together. I will never forget the look in his eyes the moment we told him that we are in the fight again. He had a flash of terror, and then despair. His eyes pooled with tears that were just to much to shed, and his lip started quivering. After a few deep breaths, he said with all the conviction his little body could muster... "WE WILL KICK CANCERS BUTT.... TO PLUTO!!!"
Our boy is AMAZING. and STRONG. The news of the relapse brought me to my knees, took the air from my lungs, and had me in a literal tail spin. All it took was those few words from our true warrior to bring the entire family into FIGHT mode. We are in the battle again... and ready to fight.
Thursday we will return to Primary Children's Hospital to have a port placed in Ryan's chest. And we will meet with his oncology team to discuss our plan of action. I know he can not have the same chemotherapy as he did before, and that is the only proven protocol that is known to kill Ewings. There are other chemos, and we will be trying them... but they do not have the track record of the protocol he was on before. On Monday, Feb 2, he will begin his new treatment.
Statistics show that recurring Ewings, especially in the lungs, is very hard to fight. But statistics are just numbers. Warriors do not give up... Ryan has not given up.... our family is not giving up. I hope Ewings Sarcoma wants to travel in space... because that is exactly where Ryan is sending it!
Thank you all for being with us through our first "verse', and thank you for joining us in this second verse. We are praying that it will be "same as the first" and that the outcome will be NED once again. We can not do this without the support of the thousands of you that love our boy, and pray for him. You will never know what you have done for us.
With God, and you all on our side, WE WILL KICK CANCERS BUTT TO PLUTO!!
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